Proverbs 16:28 “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”

ABSTRACT

This article explores the critical role of unity within the church and the destructive effects of gossip and talebearing, drawing on biblical principles such as the Ninth Commandment and guidelines for conflict resolution from Matthew 18. It emphasizes the importance of approaching faults with humility and love, incorporating teachings from Scripture and Ellen G. White to guide the community toward greater harmony and spiritual integrity.

CHURCH: DEFEAT DIVISION DEMONS!

Unity within the church is both essential and fragile. Psalm 133:1 highlights the beauty of unity, comparing it to the dew of Hermon, which refreshes and nourishes the earth. Similarly, unity among us fosters spiritual growth and strength. Sr. White reinforces this by stating, “If the world sees a perfect harmony existing in the church of God, it will be powerful evidence to them in favor of the Christian religion” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 19). Disunity, however, dishonors God and weakens the church. Proverbs 16:28 warns that gossip, or talebearing, is a significant destroyer of unity, causing discord and division within the church family. Sr. White emphasizes the need for individual judgment to submit to the church’s authority to prevent anarchy and confusion. Christ stresses the importance of harmonious relationships among us in John 17:21, praying “That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me” (KJV). In Ephesians 4:2-3, Scripture urges “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (KJV). Sr. White further explains that “The cause of division and discord in families and in the church is separation from Christ” (The Adventist Home, p. 179, 1956). Sr. White also notes that “The secret of true unity in the church and in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties—though there will be much of this to do—but union with Christ” (The Adventist Home, p. 179, 1956). By surrendering self to God and rejecting gossip, the church can preserve its strength through unity. Thus, as we consider the detrimental impact of gossip, let us strive to rid ourselves of this canker and work toward a more harmonious fellowship. How can we cultivate truthfulness and integrity to safeguard this precious unity, especially through adherence to the Ninth Commandment?

HARMONY HEROES UNITE!

Gossip is a pervasive issue that undermines unity within the church, threatening the very foundation of Christian fellowship. As highlighted in Testimonies for the Church (Vol. 4, p. 19), Christ himself emphasized the importance of unity, knowing that only through harmony can the strength of the church be fully realized. When disunity, often caused by talebearing and gossip, takes root, it dishonors the name of Christ and weakens the church’s influence. Proverbs 16:28 reveals that a whisperer, or gossiper, “separateth chief friends,” creating division where there should be unity. In Testimonies for the Church (Vol. 2, p. 52-53), Sr. White affirms that gossip should be dealt with directly, following the biblical steps outlined in Matthew 18, to restore those overtaken in fault with gentleness and love. Romans 14:19 instructs “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another” (KJV). Colossians 3:15 advises “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful” (KJV). Sr. White warns that “Divisions in the church dishonor the religion of Christ before the world and give occasion to the enemies of truth to justify their course” (God’s Amazing Grace, p. 211, 1973). Sr. White adds that “Union is strength; division is weakness. When those who believe present truth are united, they exert a telling influence. Satan well understands this. Never was he more determined than now to make of none effect the truth of God by causing bitterness and dissension among the Lord’s people” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 5, p. 236, 1889). The unity of the church depends on the elimination of gossip and talebearing, which not only destroy relationships but hinder the church’s mission to reflect the love and character of Christ. How can we apply the Ninth Commandment to combat talebearing and foster lasting bonds?

FOCUS ON FAITHFULNESS!

Unity within the church reflects Christian harmony, while disunity dishonors the church and weakens its testimony to the world. Gossip is a destructive force that causes deep wounds and destroys unity within the church community (Proverbs 18:8; 26:22), making its prevention crucial. Conflicts should be addressed in a biblical manner, as outlined in Matthew 18:15-20, through private confrontation, bringing in witnesses if necessary, and ultimately seeking resolution within the church community. Philippians 2:2 encourages “Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind” (KJV). 1 Corinthians 1:10 implores “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (KJV). Sr. White observes that “Unity is the strength of the church. Satan knows this, and he employs his whole force to bring in dissension” (Selected Messages, vol. 2, p. 159, 1958). Sr. White further states that “In union there is strength. In discord and disunion there is only weakness” (Selected Messages, vol. 2, p. 374, 1958). What insights does the Ninth Commandment offer in eradicating talebearing to achieve true unity?

SMASH TALE-BEARING SCOURGE!

The Ninth Commandment, found in Exodus 20:16, is a direct admonition against bearing false witness, encompassing both lying and spreading harmful gossip. It instructs us to be truthful and just in all our interactions, particularly in how we speak about others. This commandment is echoed in Leviticus 19:16, saying, “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor: I am the Lord” (KJV). Tale-bearing, or gossip, is not just a social misdemeanor but a spiritual offense that carries significant consequences in God’s eyes. It sows discord, damages relationships, and strife, especially within a community or church setting. This essay will explore the severity of gossip through biblical teachings and provide insights into how the Ninth Commandment guides us to eliminate tale-bearing for the sake of true unity. James 3:5 warns “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” (KJV). Proverbs 11:9 reveals “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered” (KJV). Sr. White declares that “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 146, 1890). Sr. White also affirms that “Gossipers and news carriers are a terrible curse to neighborhoods and churches. Two thirds of all the church trials arise from this source” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 466, 1885). The Bible presents gossipers in a negative light, emphasizing that their actions are detestable to God. Romans 1:28-29 describes gossipers as part of a group that has turned away from God, leading to a mind that lacks sound judgment. The Greek term “reprobate” used in this passage indicates a mind void of discernment, underscoring the seriousness of spreading false or harmful information (Romans 1:28, KJV). This lack of discernment manifests when individuals wag their tongues in slander, as mentioned in Psalm 101:5: “Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.” The consequences for gossipers are severe, as they harm others and stand in danger of divine judgment. Proverbs 6:16-19 lists “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren” (KJV). Titus 3:2 urges “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men” (KJV). Sr. White explains that “The spirit of gossip and talebearing is one of Satan’s special agencies to sow discord and strife, to separate friends, and to undermine the faith of many in the truthfulness of our positions” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 195, 1885). Sr. White adds that “If members of the church, in order to help souls, would seek wisdom from above, many who are now stumbling in the dark might be helped” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 5, p. 617, 1889). Furthermore, the destructive nature of gossip is evident in the deep emotional wounds it inflicts. Proverbs 18:8 and Proverbs 26:22 both declare that “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (KJV). These verses are repeated, emphasizing the profound harm gossip can cause, affecting the very core of a person’s being. Gossip is not just a trivial matter but can fracture trust, create animosity, and leave lasting scars. As illustrated in Psalm 41:7, gossipers gather to whisper against others, revealing their malicious intent. The Hebrew term for talebearer, “Strong’s Concordance 5372,” means “to roll in pieces,” which conveys the destructive nature of tale-bearing—it figuratively tears a person apart piece by piece. This figurative language shows that gossip is far from harmless and a tool of division and devastation. Proverbs 10:18 states “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool” (KJV). Proverbs 17:9 declares “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends” (KJV). Sr. White observes that “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 146, 1890). Sr. White further warns that “Evil-speaking is a twofold curse, falling more heavily upon the speaker than upon the hearer” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 185, 1885). Proverbs also warns against associating with gossipers, indicating that dealing with such individuals can be perilous. Proverbs 20:19 says, “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips” (KJV). Those who gossip are untrustworthy, as they betray confidence and spread rumors that can harm both the speaker and the subject. The Bible urges us to avoid these individuals because their behavior undermines the unity and trust that should characterize Christian relationships. Moreover, Proverbs 26:20 points out that where there is no gossip, there is peace: “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (KJV). This demonstrates the role of gossip in stirring up conflict and emphasizes that its elimination is necessary for harmony, especially in a church community. Proverbs 25:9 advises “Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another” (KJV). James 4:11 warns “Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge” (KJV). Sr. White states that “Where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 146, 1890). Sr. White also notes that “The talebearer shall not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 1, p. 198, 1868). A faithful friend, by contrast, guards the secrets of others and refuses to participate in tale-bearing. Proverbs 11:13 declares, “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter” (KJV). A true friend protects the dignity and reputation of others, rather than spreading harmful information. This stark contrast between the talebearer and the faithful friend highlights the moral imperative of obeying the Ninth Commandment. To foster true unity within a church or any community, gossip must be eradicated. The constant presence of gossip indicates disunity and disorder, as Proverbs 26:20 points out. For relationships to thrive and for the church to remain a place of peace, tale-bearing must be addressed and eliminated by applying biblical principles. Proverbs 17:14 reveals “The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with” (KJV). Ecclesiastes 10:11 states “Surely the serpent will bite without enchantment; and a babbler is no better” (KJV). Sr. White explains that “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter” (Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 146, 1890). Sr. White affirms that “The spirit of gossip and talebearing is one of Satan’s special agencies to sow discord and strife, to separate friends, and to undermine the faith of many in the truthfulness of our positions” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 195, 1885). To eliminate tale-bearing, we must commit to obeying the Ninth Commandment and living out its principles daily. Leviticus 19:16 reiterates this commandment: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD” (KJV). By following this command, individuals can prevent the spread of harmful gossip and ensure that their words bring healing and unity rather than division and harm. Sr. White emphasizes the importance of adhering to God’s commandments, stating, “It is the will of God that His followers should obey the precepts of His law and be sanctified through the truth” (Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 309). Obedience to the Ninth Commandment not only protects individuals from the sin of gossip but also contributes to the overall health and unity of the church. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 instructs “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you” (KJV). Proverbs 21:23 declares “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (KJV). Sr. White echoes this sentiment, stating, “We must not associate with those whose influence is to draw us away from God” (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 4, p. 564). Furthermore, dealing with gossipers should be approached with caution. The Bible advises us to distance ourselves from those who engage in gossip, as their influence can lead to further division and conflict. Proverbs 20:19 warns, “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips” (KJV). This instruction is a practical application of the Ninth Commandment. It reminds us that while it is essential to love and pray for those who gossip, they must also protect themselves and others from the harm that gossip causes. Sr. White echoes this sentiment, stating, “We must not associate with those whose influence is to draw us away from God” (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 4, p. 564). Proverbs 22:24-25 advises “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (KJV). Ephesians 5:11 urges “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them” (KJV). Sr. White cautions that “The spirit of gossip and talebearing is one of Satan’s special agencies to sow discord and strife, to separate friends, and to undermine the faith of many in the truthfulness of our positions” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 195, 1885). Sr. White also warns that “Evil-speaking is a twofold curse, falling more heavily upon the speaker than upon the hearer” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 185, 1885). The Ninth Commandment is a critical guide in dealing with the issue of gossip. By following the biblical command to refrain from tale-bearing, individuals can foster unity, protect relationships, and reflect the character of God in their speech. Gossip is not just a minor offense but a destructive force that can deeply wound others and sow discord. The Bible’s teachings clarify that gossip must be eradicated for peace and harmony within the church and community. By obeying the Ninth Commandment and distancing themselves from those who engage in tale-bearing, we can help eliminate gossip and promote an environment of trust, love, and unity. How can we approach faults in others with love and humility to restore harmony?

RESTORE WITH RIGHTEOUS RESOLVE!

In every human relationship, there is a right and wrong way to address issues or faults. When dealing with others, especially when they are in error, the Bible provides clear guidance on how to approach them with love and respect. As mentioned in Testimonies for the Church, “If you are grieved because your neighbors or friends are doing wrong to their own hurt…see that you speak in a meek and lowly spirit” (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 2., p. 52). Christ makes clear that the way we approach someone’s fault plays a significant role in whether our message will be received or rejected. Sr. White’s writings support the idea that meekness and love are essential in restoring the erring. She warns against speaking with pride or self-sufficiency, as such attitudes drive people further away from Christ (White, 1871, pp. 52-53). This is why it is crucial to ensure that our approach to reproof mirrors Christ’s example, in which kindness and gentleness reign, but truth is still delivered with solemnity and conviction. Galatians 6:1 directs “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (KJV). 2 Timothy 2:25 instructs “In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” (KJV). Sr. White advises that “If thou art grieved with thy brother, thou shalt tell him between thee and him alone” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 53, 1885). Sr. White emphasizes that “We should deal faithfully with the souls for whom Christ has given His life” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 54, 1885). Following the Bible rule of addressing faults individually first, rather than publicly, is another essential step. The command to remove the beam from our own eyes before addressing the faults of others is foundational in this process, as Jesus teaches in Matthew 7:3-5. This is important because self-righteousness clouds judgment and prevents the heart from being in tune with the spirit of humility and repentance. Sr. White reinforces this by stating, “Not until you feel that you could sacrifice your self-dignity, and even lay down your life in order to save an erring brother, have you cast the beam out of your own eye” (Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, pp. 128-129). Therefore, before addressing another’s fault, one must ensure that they are acting from a place of love, not superiority, which fosters restoration rather than alienation. Matthew 7:1 warns “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (KJV). Luke 6:37 advises “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven” (KJV). Sr. White cautions that “We should not think of the failings of others, but of what we might have done in their circumstances” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 241, 1885). Sr. White further states that “If we had to bear our own burdens alone, they would crush us; but Christ has made provision for the laying down of every burden” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 242, 1885). In addition, when addressing an individual’s fault, the conversation must remain focused on the issue at hand. As humans, we are prone to venting our frustrations and sometimes heap multiple grievances onto a single conversation. However, Sr. White advises against such practices, saying, “In other words, don’t collect a bucket of stones and dump them all at once either” (Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, p. 128). Overwhelming someone with a barrage of complaints is counterproductive. Sr. White urges us to offer practical advice with specific solutions tailored to the individual’s situation. As noted in her writings, “Most of us are all struggling with our own difficulties and a helpful suggestion can be appreciated” (Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, p. 128). Not only does this approach show empathy, but it also increases the likelihood of a productive outcome from the conversation. Offering solutions demonstrates care and investment in the person’s growth, rather than focusing solely on their shortcomings. Proverbs 15:1 reminds “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (KJV). Proverbs 25:15 states “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone” (KJV). Sr. White observes that “A word spoken in due season, how good is it!” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 3, p. 416, 1885). Sr. White adds that “The Lord would have His people more considerate of each other’s feelings” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 63, 1885). The sin of omission, especially when it involves not addressing a fault directly with the person, also hinders the restoration process. When one talks about the faults of others behind their back, instead of addressing them face-to-face, it compounds the issue. Sr. White’s writings clarify this point: “You have excused yourself for speaking evil of your brother or sister or neighbor to others before going to him and taking the steps which God has absolutely commanded” (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 2., p. 53). Gossip and slander harm both the speaker and the listener, and do nothing to restore the erring individual. Sr. White stresses that speaking directly to the person in error is the biblical and righteous approach. Failing to follow this method not only perpetuates sin but also risks losing the opportunity to lead someone back to the path of righteousness. Sr. White concludes that even if the person does not heed the counsel, the one offering the reproof has “delivered your soul; their sin no longer rests upon you” (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 2., p. 24). Leviticus 19:17 commands “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him” (KJV). Proverbs 27:5-6 declares “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (KJV). Sr. White warns that “If thou dost not speak the truth in love to thy brother, if thou dost not go to him in humility, as one knowing his own weakness and liability to err, thyself also wilt be overcome” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 54, 1885). Sr. White also notes that “We should deal faithfully with the souls for whom Christ has given His life” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 54, 1885). Approaching someone who is in error requires great care, humility, and love. The way we address faults can either restore the person or drive them further away from truth. Sr. White’s writings offer valuable insights into this process, emphasizing the need for meekness, avoiding gossip, and offering practical solutions. Ultimately, when we act in the spirit of Christ, we open the door for true restoration. This not only benefits the person being addressed but also strengthens our relationships within the Christian community, fostering a spirit of unity and love. How can we eliminate gossip to preserve the church’s spiritual integrity?

VANQUISH GOSSIP VILLAINS!

The elimination of gossip is essential for preserving unity within the church and maintaining its spiritual integrity. According to Testimonies for the Church (Vol. 4, p. 19), Christ underscored the necessity of unity among His disciples, recognizing that division weakens the church and dishonors its mission. Scripture supports this by highlighting the destructive nature of gossip, with Proverbs 16:28 revealing that a “whisperer separateth chief friends.” The document further explains that gossip must be dealt with directly through the biblical process of reconciliation outlined in Matthew 18:15-20 (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 2, p. 52-53). By following this model—approaching the individual privately, involving witnesses if necessary, and seeking church involvement as a last resort—the church can protect its members from division. Romans 12:18 exhorts “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (KJV). Hebrews 12:14 urges “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord” (KJV). Sr. White declares that “The life of Christ was a life charged with a divine message of the love of God, and He longed intensely to impart this love to others in rich measure. Compassion beamed from His countenance, and His conduct was characterized by grace, humility, truth, and love. Every member of His church militant must manifest the same qualities, if he would join the church triumphant” (Fundamentals of Christian Education, p. 179, 1923). Sr. White also states that “Faith in the atonement and intercession of Christ will keep us steadfast and immovable amid the temptations that press upon us in the church militant” (Review and Herald, June 9, 1896). Ultimately, the church must be vigilant in addressing gossip, ensuring that it remains a place of harmony and reflects the character of Christ, as true strength lies in unity.

Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3, KJV).

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Review Questions

1. Why is unity within the church considered essential, and how does disunity affect the church’s mission?
2. What steps does the Bible outline in Matthew 18:15-20 for resolving conflicts, and why is it important to follow this process?
3. How does gossip act as a destructive force within the church, and what are the consequences mentioned in Proverbs 16:28, 18:8, and 26:22?

SELF-REFLECTION

How can I, in my personal devotional life, delve deeper into these prophetic truths, allowing them to shape my character and priorities?

How can we adapt these complex themes to be understandable and relevant to diverse audiences, from seasoned church members to new seekers or those from different faith traditions, without compromising theological accuracy?

What are the most common misconceptions about these topics in my community, and how can I gently but effectively correct them using Scripture and the writings of Sr. White?

In what practical ways can our local congregations and individual members become more vibrant beacons of truth and hope, living out the reality of Christ’s soon return and God’s ultimate victory over evil?